Jokes are so much better when told by a 2 year old…
“Onion!” *cue the uncontrollable giggling of said 2 year old*
In fact, pretty much anything said by my 2 year old I find hilarious! Half the time she says words or phrases that I have absolutely no clue where she picked them up from! It took me forever to figure out she got the whole stomping her foot and saying “It’s not fair” from watching Horrid Henry on Netflix… I won’t allow her to watch that one now. I try to limit her time watching TV or things on the iPad but she still manages to pick things up quickly from them. And she’s so so clever with using the iPad that she changes what she’s watching or playing really swiftly so I’m always double checking what’s on. There was one day when I found her watching nursery rhymes being sung in Spanish, so hopefully she’ll be speaking foreign languages soon!
Some of the things she says sound too grown up to be coming from a toddler… don’t worry I don’t mean that she says anything rude (When she finally does that, it will be a whole new story)! “Oh my goodness” is a perfect example; and “Oh I see”, delivered with an elongated “ooohhhhhhhh” as she finally acknowledges the thing you asked her to pass to you 10 minutes ago that hasn’t moved from the spot directly next to her whilst she searched high and low for it! She had her Grandma laughing in a gift shop once by replying “I doubt it” when Grandma suggested they might find something nice to buy at the other end of the shop.
“I’m a big girl!”
Now this is something she says most often. Sometimes she says it with a little laugh and a ‘don’t be silly’ kind of tone, or it can also be said with a grumpy face and a ‘go away I’m not doing what you told me to do’ kind of tone. Whilst at the park a few weeks ago she was walking along the wooden caterpillar when a young boy started to climb on half way down . His mum asked him to start at the beginning because there’s a little girl already on it, so Munchkin1 muttered quietly to herself (much to my amusement) “I’m not a little girl, I’m a big girl!” followed by the grumpy face and her infamous “hmmmmmfffff”.
And then there are those random ‘did she just say that’ moments where you find yourself both confused and amused at the same time, whilst also trying to figure out what the heck the small human is talking about! Most of the time this includes telling me about the mischievous actions of her imaginary friends the tiny kittens (we’ll talk about this more in a later post), but the very best moments are the extremely random ones. “I’m dead” is a good one. I was sat having my morning cuppa when she just casually wanders over to me, sprawls out across my legs and tells me “I’m dead”! Now where does a 2 year old get that one from? Anyway, she expected me to get her Dr’s bag and somehow make her better with the stethoscope and imaginary medicine; oh and then I had to be dead…
“You’re making me jealous Mummy!” “Why am I making you jealous?” “I’m sat in my seat!” “I’m making you jealous because you’re sat in your seat?” “Yes.”
“I can’t do sticking no more, I’ve run out of breath!” This is my favourite random excuse of why she should stop cutting and sticking.
I shall leave you with this one: Munchkin1 woke up extra early one morning so I let her out of her room on my way to the toilet. (We had already tried telling her to go back to sleep, or play, etc.) I explained in a hushed, calm voice “It’s still very early but you can come into Mummy and Daddy’s bed as long as you cuddle up to us, settle down and be quiet”. In a very loud voice that should be illegal that early in a morning she replied
“I not be quiet, I talk all day!”