A few days ago, Munchkin1 spent the day with her Grandma and Grandad, so it was a quiet day for myself and Munchkin2. We had some visitors in the morning (one of my Aunties brought us a beautiful cushion she made for Munchkin2) and then we had a nice quiet afternoon with just the two of us. So I thought I would put him in my Close Caboo Carrier for a little walk to the local shops. There I am walking along, a cute, snoozing baby snuggled against my chest, the weather a little grim but not unpleasant to walk in and I feel like I look happy and relaxed with my life. Until a kind fly torpedoes straight up my left nostril and leaves me vigorously rubbing my nose and desperately trying to blow it back out. Instead I just look like some crazed lunatic snorting like a pig in the middle of the footpath with my fingers wedged up my nose and no fly to blame it on.
This then got me thinking about how glamorous my life is, especially now I’m a Mummy. To be honest, I’ve never been a glamorous person. I’ve never been very good with make-up, and whenever I try to dress nice I either get too hot and sweaty, have to constantly re-adjust my clothes (eg. Pull my trousers up, untwist my top) or I spill something down my front. That’s the other issue, I’ve always been a bit clumsy. But since I’ve become a Mummy it’s like my level of clumsiness has tripled. I somehow manage to whack my head on the door of the boot every time I put the pram in the car, I sometimes knock my coffee over before I can even have a sip of it. And for some reason since I gave birth the first time I now can’t walk past things or through doorways without catching myself on a corner or a handle.
I tend to either forget things or not realise things regarding my appearance now I’ve got small people to think about. There are days I forget to brush my hair before stepping out into the world, or I’ll be about to go out in a top with straps to find I have forgotten to shave my armpits. There are many days I look down to find I’ve spent most of the day with a toothpaste dribble down my top, or even my chin. Munchkin2 currently likes to decorate me with his sick, mainly on my shoulders but his aim down my cleavage is spot on . He also has impeccable timing with his poops. I give him plenty of time to get it all out of his system before I change his nappy and yet he still waits until I’m about to put the clean nappy under his bottom to fire another shot at my hands. Although his best shot was at his Daddy a few weeks ago and that was the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time!
If anyone ever decides to have a nosey through my front window first thing in the morning then they’ll get a glorious view. I’ve got myself into a routine of making sure Munchkin1 has food, drink and whatever she needs and that I have plenty of water, then I settle down to feed Munchkin2 and use the breast pump on the opposite side. I get so wrapped up in my own little happy world that it only occurred to me the other day that should the postman knock on my window he would probably go blind at the sight! Then there’s the times I don’t think to put a breast pad in my bra and end up with slowly expanding wet circle patches on the front of my top. When I used to feed Munchkin1 she would be such a nosey baby that she would pull off to have a look around resulting in milk being power blasted 3 metres in front of me so it would be more than just my top covered.
Having babies isn’t easy on your body either. Unless you’re one of the lucky ones you do find you’ve acquired at least one stretch mark. In my case I now have a replica map of all the rivers in the UK on my stomach. They do bother me, of course they do. But I also love them at the same time because they are a reminder of how I grew two beautiful babies.
I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s a glamorous life being a Mummy because it really is! Yes it means I’ve got a stretch mark covered ‘Mum Tum’, I’m covered in sick, poop and snot daily and my appearance resembles that of a well played with rag doll, but it’s my life and I wouldn’t change a thing about it! It’s glamorous to me because my children fill my days with sparkle and magic.